I was going to start this out with, “We all have a friend like Joe,” then realized maybe we don’t. But we need to. We all need someone we can think There but for the grace of god go I about. Joe was my neighbor during my failing years of college, and any time I was feeling crappy about my life (which was pretty often back then), all I had to do was walk over to Joe’s house and ask, “Hey, Joe — how ya doin?”
Joe was (and probably still is — I still see him around from time to time) an incredibly nice guy. Terrible awful stuff used to happen to him on an incredibly regular basis, however. In Pirates of the Caribbean, when the Black Pearl blows up the jail and everyone’s cell is knocked open but Jack’s, and one pirate says to Jack on his way out, “You have my sympathies, mate — you’ve no manner of luck at all,” I invariably think of Joe.
As an example, on one occasion when I asked him how he was, he embarked on the following tale:
Oh, man! I was drivin home from my ex-old lady’s place in Washington Terrace, you know? We had a BIG ol fight and stuff, so I was already in a really bad mood. Anyway, I was driving just a leeeetle too fast and got pulled over. I gave Pete a ride earlier and he left a bottle of rum in my back seat. The Terrace cop that pulled me over was lookin around in my car and saw the booze and man, I was about to start explaining I wasn’t drinkin or nothing and instead, I just started to cry. Like a little baby, man, I couldn’t even TALK! I wasn’t trying to get out of the ticket or nothing, but the cop, man, he just tole to drive more carefully and he LET ME GO!! I couldn’t beLIEVE it! The crying wasn’t fake or nothing, don’t get me wrong — I just had THAT bad a day, you know?
So, to this day, Joe’s the only guy I know who ever got out of a ticket by crying.
Anyway, this would happen anytime anybody asked Joe how he was. Most people you ask this question of will give the socially acceptable, “Fine, how are you?” It’s a question we ask and don’t expect a full report. And because of Joe’s usual luck, these conversations invariably made my life seem pretty cool by comparison.
We all need a Joe, but I’ll go a step further and say we should make sure we’re not a Joe ourselves. . . .
